Britain’s Finest Do Phuket !!!

So after a crazy night with the guys from Koh Chang we cleaned ourselves up and headed for the airport to meet the Pauls. Was excellent to see their pale faces stepping through immigration and we were most impressed with the back packs in situ. After a brief drive back to Khao San and a quick update on the latest gossip we asked what they would like to do i.e. sleep or eat and the resounding answer was drink!!! So drink we did!!

I think the first words Paul uttered regarding thailand were “what the hell is the smell” followed by the second being “what a shithole”, so nice to see they had a good impression of it!!! Anyway after a couple of Tigers and a currency translation in his head, his attitudes changed and hos next words were ” I can drink three times the amount here for the same price as home - sweet”. So after a couple of drinks in the hotel we headed out for some Italian scoff and onto an Irish Boozer. The night prooved to be as drunken as the night before and we introduced then to a Thai beauty called Lai who we’d met the night before. She was the local Pool champion, was missing 3 front teeth, weighed about 200Lbs and was studying to be a judge.

After a few shots myself and Pauline decided to head back to the hotel and the boys escorted us to reception and gave us the keys. They then headed off for another couple of drinks. Now between the four of us we can’t quite figure out what happened next other than some how Pauine and I lost each other in the hotel, we think we had gone up to the pool then lost each other on the way down, Pauline thinks she crawled around a few floors and has hazy memories of vomitting off a balcony. However when the boys returned both of us had ended up in each other’s rooms and had no idea where the other was. Lots of pacing about and found each other’s respectful partners and rooms and went to bed. It was now Stuarts birthday - Happy Birthday Thai style!!

Awoke a little dodgy to say the least with no one knowing quite what happened the night before - Welcome to Thailand!!!!So anyway there was no time to dwell, we had a flight to catch so it was off to the airport and on the plane to Phuket. Arrived safely and got a taxi down to the resort in Patong bay and headed to the rooms to freshen up for the arrival of Rachel in a couple of hours. Before we knew it that time had come and we were sitting drinking diet cokes and eating on the beach front with Rachel, Stuart & Pauline. Rachel’s first words were “how much is a baht” and for the rest of teh week couldn’t beleive how cheap everything was - so spent a fortune and bought half of Thailand!!! A pretty quiet and subdued night and a quiet birthday for Stuart!

The next day we were all eager to get to the beach so reserved a couple of sun loungers and spent the day resting and bathing. Beach was failry busy but the sea was gorgeous and warm and the sun powerful.



Stuart manged to burn himself a treat and for the first time in his life had a touch of sunstroke. From that moment forth he wore sunscreen!!


Later that evening we decided to try a Thai boxing match. All day long outside the hotel there were lorries with guys fighting on top shouting “Thai Boxing Tonight” and a funny Thai tune - Alasdair heard this as “Tonight Thai Boxing Very Dangerous” which we all found hilarious so that became the moto ofthe day/week!!! The boxing was great fun despite the first few fights being kids. We managed to get ring side seats and several beers throughout.


One of the last fights was an English guy who knocked out his opponent in the first round - Rachel and I were very impressed!! 

 2007_0325OZ0277 Thai Boxing - English style

After the fight we went back to the hotel for a couple of drinks were we celebrated my big 30 at the turn of midnight and Pauline produced a badge for me to wear so we had to go out!! Found another Irish bar and went on to the cocktails (lovely). Then headed back to the hotel where we indulged in the 1/4 bottle of voddy that room sevice had provided.


So another birthday blown out by a collection of hungover zombies. Rachel had made a huge effort though and when I awoke my balcony was covered in balloons and the door had four balloons on it. When I eventually made it down to the beach my sun lounger was also covered in balloons and a few cards and pressies were waiting for me. We chilled on the beach for the rest of the day and Al set off for a camera repair shop as our camera was broken. Again poor effort in the evening mainly on my part. after wandering round for a while we headed back to the beach front and found a different Irish bar where we feasted on ribs, potato skins and burgers and Rachel had given the bar staff a cake which they produced with a 30th candle on and the Band sang Happy Birthday!

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After being suitably embarrassed headed back to the hotel for a couple of evening drinks before bed.

The following day was relatively chilled on the beach with a return to the Irish bar that night, a photo with a monkey (that Rachel wanted to kidnap), some Thai food and onto a bar for a few cheeky cocktails. 

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The next day we went off on a boat trip to monkey island, Phi Phi Le and Maya Bay, where they filmed the beach. All feeling slightly delicate from a few drinks the night before but generaly not too bad, we set sail!! The Boat set off at a hell of a rate and Al who was snoozing at the back nearly went overboard! We first stopped at Monkey island, an idealic spot with monkeys on the beach. Stuart & Rachel were in heaven as they are keen on monkeys and the little monkeys knicked all our bananas!! 

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We then headed off to the first spot where they filmed the beach in a beautiful lagoon - Maya Bay, where we got off the boat and did some snorkelling. Not quite how I remember the scenery from the film but shows you how Hollywood likes to cut & paste things together!!

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Then it was off to the actual “Beach” which although gorgeous was crowded and the speed boats reving their engined and gushing out petrol fumes was not as idealic as one would imagine. There is even a snack store now on the beach!!

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After that was a bit more snorkelling, some lunch another beach and back. Headed out for a stroll on one of the notorious gay hang outs in Phuket. Sat in a quiet bar watching the antics from a far as lady boy after lady boy struted past. All pretty knackered so an earliysh night with plans to return here tomorrow for a few beverages..

After another day of relaxing we were up for a few drinks and with this being our last night in Phuket and Rachels last in Thailand we thought it wise to go back to lady boy street. Al got tucked right in to the Tequila as did Stuart and found an English bar tender who helped them drink. I wonder if Al wants to be a lady boy??

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At the bar they had the most bizarre game where you had to see who could hammer a nail into a tree trunk the fastest with the sharp end of the hammer. Imagine the repocusions of this game at home!! Drunken folk with hammers???? Anyway Pauline kicked ass!!! Don’t mess with her doing DIY!!


Osama Paul 

Paul managed to find a Bin Laden mask and went on his own booze ‘Jihad’. So the evening got more drunk and Rachel ducked off for an early night - no such luck. When we arived home we woke her, drank more vodka and went skinny dipping in the sea. Not a good night unless Al gets naked!!!!

So yet again on a day for travelling we all felt rough as but made it to the aiport with time to spare!


So Rachel was off back to Blighty after 2 weeks in Oz and a week with us and we were Ko Samui bound. Was a fantastic week and shame Rachel only had a week with us - but I think she got to see soem of Thailand and will hopefully be back in the future. As for us another adventure began.

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